Cause you had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me don’t lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don’t lie
You’re coming back down and you really don’t mind
You had a bad day
Archive for February, 2006
25
Feb
so i had a bad day
24
Feb
couch patatas
For someone whose entire semester includes two whopping subjects and a TTh schedule, I have a pretty busy life - watching TV! Mwahahaha! I’m now a full-pledged couch patatas. Woo. (Note: the DoTA boys jus got here, ready for som shouting… so I’d better make this quick)
I love this show! Funny and witty… Haha! Love the way they all line up and do a song. Hee. =p
Yeah, Drew Carey does nothing in this show hahaha! (I wish our local stand-up comedians are like them - hindi puro okrayan lang. Pfft. Really, sometimes, they’re a pity.)
Love the girls of Totally Spies! ;>
OMG! Simon is back again.. heehee, sure he can be really stingy with his words and sometimes, really below the belt, but what the hey! I like him, wahaha!
Taylor Hicks aka George Clooney, you rock! Wah! *tumbling* And for the girls, my bet is Paris Bennet. Hmm, I wish I had that voice when I was 16 heehee.
And my favorite race! Amazing Race 9 is just a few days away… woohoo! Can’t wait for the new season. Sheeeett!! No more of those freaking families ahaha! I love this show so much I even dreamed Chipmunk and I won the last leg of the race nyahaha! And yeah, we’re team #1!!! (Okay, so I’m losing my mind…)
Hmmm, I’d love to post more pix of my favorite shows, but these DoTA boys are starting to drive me mad. As of this typing, I’m the only girl here. Kumusta naman un?! I won’t be surprised if I end up playing the freakin’ game real soon.
24
Feb
wake me up
Well of course you know my best friend, Insomnia. We’ve been together for months now and sometimes I don’t understand how I was able to put up with her. She can be a real pain in the ass; especially when I just want to get that most-coveted sleep. Sheesh. Sometimes, I’m thankful for the company; especially in the wee hours of the morning when I just want to stare in space. I guess you can never have it all, huh? Ups and downs. Highs and lows. Pfft.
I used to dismiss her existence as if it’s just normal to stay awake while everyone else is snoring. I used to like the idea that I’m the only one awake – I liked the quiet time for myself. But now that I’m living alone, it’s not really so much fun having all the quiet time for myself and myself alone. It sucks! I mean, it’s sucks big time especially when I can see the early morning sky from the my window. And it sucks even more when my next door neighbor’s alarm goes off; waking her from her sleep while I stayed up the whole time she was in dreamland. It’s just unfair!
They said desperate times call for desperate measures. Well, I’ve been desperate, alright. I’ve tried sleeping pills, but for some reason, even a whole tablet of Stillnox is still not enough to just knock me asleep. No, I’m not THAT desperate to try overdosing myself, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’ve tried going to bed early, but I’ll just toss and turn until that my neighbor’s fucking alarm clock starts blaring. Believe me, I would’ve done tumblings and cartwheels and still I’d never be tired enough to go to sleep. For crying out loud, I even researched on the internet on how to deal with Insomnia (yeah, she’s that popular, Google had about a thousand sites to offer me). One interesting suggestion there is to try sleeping with your head facing north. Well, I’m dumb when it comes to directions and before I can figure out which way is north, I’d be hearing MY own alarm go off. And besides, I don’t give a flying fuck which way I’m facing so long as I can sleep! For Pete’s sake, since when is sleep affected by the compass?!
Hmm, benefits? Well, yeah – that is, if you consider it beneficial catching that early morning show on TV with all the traffic updates. I guess one perk is that I can watch reruns of the evening shows I missed. But sometimes, the jokes on Comedy Central just don’t register and I end up flipping channels and settling for Johnny Bravo or Molto Mario, whichever comes first.
Sometimes she (Insomnia) would leave me alone and stop bugging me. Ah, precious hours without her! No wonder I have fewer dreams these past weeks! Either I’m too tired to even remember my dreams or even my subconscious is dozing off. Tsktsk. I’m not even surprised when I missed my two classes (un na nga lang ung subjects ko) one day when I woke up at 4 in the afternoon. Pathetic.
Off topic: The keyboards in this computer shop are sticky as hell! Damn! So much for a breezy typing! Huhu.
Question: Have you ever been out with somebody - just the two of you - but you don’t feel that you are with him/her? Well, I have. And it sucks. It’s like being with someone but he’s not really with you. Gets? Tsk. Tsk.
20
Feb
the Feb Fair that was…
Is is just me, or I find the this year’s Feb Fair boring?! Hmm, and I thought there’d be booze everyday. Tsktsk. Gone are the days when everyone will just drink themselves drunk until morning. This year, every bottle had to be hidden because the UPF are making rounds. Huhu. So much for drinking and be merry. And the bands, my gawd!! Talk about pathetic! I mean, there isn’t any famous band who played and what’s up with Cindy Kurleto anyway? Pfft. And the booths… you’d think they’d been dropped from the sky randomly. *shakes head* (so I find the Feb Fair not-so-fun, sue me)
Actually, I did have some fun. Yeah, but no thanks to the goddamn organizers who came up with a pathetic excuse of a fair, duh! Thanks to that bingo game (shoutouts to Fincomm, woo!), I was poorer after the game, with a hoarse voice and feeling shitty my last number wasn’t called. Grrr. But it was fun. I guess some people are lucky. And I’m not one of them. Huhu. But what the hey, it’s fun! =p
Booze news flash: That Genesoc juice is the traitor!!! My gawwwd! What a culprit! All I know is that I was having a blast laughing so much I was already crying.. and.. I.. can’t.. remember.. anything.. else.. What a bummer! Thanks to that freaking juice, I had a killer hangover the next day. I was even quoting Scotty and telling myself "I’m never drinking again" over and over. Clap. Clap.
19
Feb
worst day over
Thank God, it’s over. But what I thought would be one of the worst days of my life wasn’t that bad at all - except for the killer hangover I suffered from, I was feeling pretty fine. I guess I’ve reached the point when there are no more tears to fall and no more what-ifs to ask. Yep, it’s over. And for the LAST time, I’m going to write about it.
I dreaded the day he was getting married, and for Pete’s sake, having people come up to me and remind me about it really fucked me up. I mean, haller! Do I have to be reminded of that freaking day?! Please. Anyway, thanks to a really sablay and way-too-shitty thing that happened prior to that God-forsaken week, I was able to take control of myself once again. As I told my friends, he’s not the old (toooot) that I used to know. Oh well, changes. Changes.
I wrote a really long essay about this whole imbroglio and I plan to post it here or in my other blog, but I decided against it. What I felt when I wrote it isn’t exactly how I feel at this moment, so screw it. Why bother posting it? I don’t want people having the wrong idea and see me as the still-bitter girl who’s left nursing a broken heart by herself. That was me ages ago.. I just want to let everything out, once and for all. I don’t expect people to make kumusta to me after this. Hindi ako namatayan, ok? I just want to make that CLEAR. And if anyone plans to tease me after this, let me see you try. You don’t know how it feels to deal when the one you used to love suddenly gets married. And if you think it’s something to make a joke about, I know a handful of websites where you can get funny whatevers.
And to the guy with whom I shared some of the most feel-good moments, who broke my heart at the most unexpected time, and who made me realize that Shakespeare is right when he said that the course of true love never did run smooth (yeah, this is one heck of a rocky road!): Have a nice life, and be a good boy. I know you are (sometimes). Nah, just kidding. Whatevers happens, (well, I guess that "whatever" happened already) I’d still look back to that night when you were driving so fast it scared the shit out of me. Haha. I don’t expect to see you (again), but if we do, I’ll just see you as a bittersweet thing of my past. Au revoir.
14
Feb
to my almost-Valentine
I don’t care if we’ve been through hundreds of sick cycles because the very fact that we made it this far is enough proof that we can make it, if we really try.. I don’t care what people say about you, much less give a damn about what they tell me to do. I don’t care how many tears fell, as I’ve said, loving someone is as good as telling that person to hurt you - intentioanally or not. I don’t care about the lies anymore. I don’t care about the past because I realized that life is too short to dwell on past-tense all the time. I just want to live in the now.
I might sound like a cliche if I "thank you for everything". But what the hey. There are lots of things I’m thankful for that it’ll take an eternity to enumerate them. I just know that I am who I am now because of you. Through the good times and bad times, I’ve met a part of myself. And no words can describe how grateful I am. I just know that I manage to know myself MORE because of you.
Ah, apologies. So much hurt. So much pain. I don’t think apologies are enough. "Sorry" is such an overrated word for whatever it is that we share. But then again, it’s from my heart, so SORRY for everything. Tears have fallen and there’s nothing we can do about it now. I just know that those tears fell for a reason and I just damn hope we know the reason soon. Because you have to admit, there are times when reason is so far-fetched even we can’t understand ourselves.
In the spirit of Valentine, I dedicate this post to you. Not because I don’t have anyone else to dedicate this post to, but because you’re the only one I can write about as unabashedly as if I’m telling it right in front of your face. We’ve been through a lot together and I’d be more than willing to go through them all if it’s you beside me. Because after all, I wouldn’t be writing about you if you didn’t break my heart into million pieces. I wouldn’t be writing about you if we didn’t make and share tons of memories together.
Fuck, I’m getting sappy. Bear with me, it’s Vday. Sheesh.
09
Feb
new look (for now)
I decided to change my template design. I realized, as in today lang, that I’ve been bashing too much for the past weeks (I guess those goddamn DotA boys ignited my easily-irritated attitude) that I decided to match it with black. I just can’t bear the contrast of the purple background and the stingy words. I’m not really a fan of incongruities. Bwahaha. Now, that’s mean. Well, yeah, I can be mean sometimes (okay, most of the time), but I have enough decency not to name drop. And no, hindi ako nang-aaway ngayon. Easy lang. Hee.
Hmm, I miss my feel-good posts - my butterflies-and-stars inspired posts that my friends loved to read. Well, not now muna mga fwends. Besides, there isn’t much feel-good things to write about anyway, so what’s the point? I never want to make imbento naman. I might as well wrote a novel. Woo.
I came across this line last night while I was browsing through my files. And it says: "Some people sleep themselves stupid."
09
Feb
S-deprived
I just had another sleepless night. Had another night bonding moment with Insomnia. Weh. Come to think of it, I’m so used being awake until the wee hours of the morning that it shocks me that I’m here in some nice, cozy Internet shop at 11 in the morning. Surprise, surprise. My system has been deliberately avoiding long hours of sleep for reasons I can’t understand. I mean, I’m dead beat and I could really use a nice long zzzzz but whatever I do, I’m still wide awake and if only my eyes could get bigger, I’d probably look like a blob by now. Wah.
I was browsing some blogs and one particular blog caught my attention. It’s not the template or wutever (I mean, Friendster blogs are low-tech compared to those in blogspot) but something about that blog amuses me, if not makes me laugh. I mean, do you really have to narrate everything from point 1 to point 100? C’mon, you could do better that that! And the grammar! Gawd! Mag-Tagalog ka na lang, darling. It’s inspiring how you try to narrate your story in the clearest way possible, but everything’s just incoherent. You should try posting more often, I’d love to read more. Hee.
Now, now. You’d probably say who’s this Ms. Know-It-All. Well I’m not. I’m not trying to establish myself as the IT girl just because. You’d probably accuse me of being too prying, and then too cruel to actually mock your blog. But then again, you’re reading this now, and that makes you just as nosy. =p Ok, I’ll stop myself. (Gee, I should really shut up sometimes. Pansin ko lang, I’ve been too mocking lately, but what the hey. Besides, I’m sleep-deprived, you should spare me).
News flash: A mobile phone just started ringing. And mother of all koreanovelas, it’s the Jang Geum ringtone!!! Huwaat?! And what’s more hilarious is that the mobile belongs to the guy sitting next to me. Hehe.
09
Feb
haay
That Aga-Kristine movie (All My Life) never fails to make me cry. Sniff. This afternoon, I saw the movie for the 6th time and I’ve cried just as much as I did when Oinkee and I saw the movie in a theater. Sheesh. My eyes are still puffy from too much crying, but what the hey. I’m now on a mission: I’ve got to find a DVD copy of that freaking movie. Pfft.
Anyway, today has been a rollercoaster ride for me, emotions-wise. It still amazes me how I can shift from one emotion to the next in a span of minutes. Warla. I’ve been from oh-so-sad-i’m-feeling-crappy to oh-so-happy-i’m-feeling-A-okay. Well, I guess that’s just me. Mood swings.
During the early hours of the day, I was feeling so windang every spirit of gin that’s in my system left me. I fell asleep feeling so lost, wishing I never wake up. I wake up late in the afternoon with a killer headache and a loss of appetite. Then I was crying, for what reason, I don’t have time to enumerate. Then I was apologizing all over the place, feeling sorry (I was so sorry I could feel my blood surging through my veins). Then I felt happy. I felt okay. It was a weird feeling to actually experience such a transition of emotions in what, a few hours.
Like I said, let’s just be honest from this point on. I don’t know what level of honesty, given the circumstances, but like you said, I don’t want to lie anymore. I used to tell myself that what I don’t know won’t hurt me. But I guess sometimes, I have to know some things to really appreciate what’s in front of me. We’ve been through a lot of rocky roads (and yeah, how I wish it’s just an icecream flavor) before, and we made it, didn’t we? I just hope we can work this out. Everything is just too special for me to let it go down the drain. I hope you feel the same way.
I’ve been busy bashing people around these past days that I forgot to really think what matters most to me. Heck, people have been asking me the identities of the people who luckily made it to my previous BS-list. Gee, I should shut up sometimes.
Late this afternoon, in tears and in dire need of comfort, I was almost ready to give up writing. I don’t know what hit me, but given the situation, I was ready to just stop writing my thoughts down. I guess I just write too freely of my emotions and what happens in my life that I risk myself being questioned. I shouldn’t be surprised if people (once again) ask me about this post.
It’s getting cold here in the shop. It’s too silent here, I almost miss the DotA boys. Damn. Oh well. Ciao.
08
Feb
i should shut up…but no!
I just had my nails done (in freaking purple!) and now I’m having a hard time typing for fear of ruining my manicure. Tut. Tut. Anyway, it’s been a week since I last logged on. The last time was when I posted about the mysterious Genesoc party chevers. Nah, don’t want to go into details of what transpired, but one thing’s for sure: it was a blast, mwahaha!
This is supposed to be a feel-good blog entry, the i’m-so-excited-i’m-having-a-vacation-for-six-days kind of shit, but then again, my newly manicured nails decided that they look too good to be typing butterflies-and-stars inspired thingie. They’re ready for some bashing. Hmm.
First off: YOU. Yes, you. You turn me off. I don’t care if you’re gay (pun intended). I don’t care if you’re getting married (there, I finally let it out, bravo!) today, tomorrow or next month. I don’t care if you spend a million bucks on that stupid gown. I don’t care if you bride ditches you at the altar. I don’t care if you get drunk on the night before your wedding. I just don’t care. And please, spare me! I’m so done with that.
Next: Mr. Congeniality. Yes, you. Never mind that freaking day when I spent hours nearly banging my head against the wall. For all I know, you were spending hours avoiding all those smokers who come your way. Never mind that freaking day when I had to drag myself out of bed because I had nightmares with your hideous face inside my head. Eew. For all I know, you’re flaunting that hideous face of yours with a smug smile that say "hey, may friendster ka ba? add mo ko!"
Next: Mr. Brusko Pink. (For those not in the know, it’s taken from a book with the same title about gays). Hmm, I won’t be trash-typing about you. For the record, you’re the only one I can write about without fighting the urge to smash the computer screen. Gawd, as the pathetic movie line goes: "nasaan ka nung kelangan kita?" and as Simon (American Idol) said "where have you been hiding?!" mwahaha! Okay, enough quotes. Anyhoots, see you when I see you. And yeah, I’ll bring along your pink cat.
Lastly: Bitch. You!!! Ha! The queen of them all! What right have you to transform from a wicked witch to a care bear?! Since when have you been concerned about everyone? And please, enough sweet talk! It’s really not working, and besides, who’s believing you?! You think you’re smart, huh? Well, some people learn their lessons, y’know! And you’re not one of them. You’re still the same old wicked witch we’ve all gotten to know, no matter how candy-coated your words are. You’ll always stink, no matter what perfume you wear. And one word of advice (I don’t think you’ll listen anyway, but let’s just say I pity you so much that I just HAVE to make one unsolicited advice): DON’T TRY.
