Archive for March, 2007

29
Mar

on life after GeneSoc

Nostalgia

I wrote this for the org’s newsletter, so sorry for those who might think of this as a spoiler hwehe. To all the GENES, this one’s for you. >>

Disclaimer: You might find this a bit dramatic. But please bear in mind that I was "forced" to write this. So deal with it. =p

I spent six years in college, four in Genesoc. Considering the amount of time I spent with the org after I graduated, you can make it five. My rather extended stay with the org can be justified by the fact that I was unemployed then, so I basically had nothing to do. Or maybe, it can be that I’ve grown so used being with the genes that I can’t simply get them out of my system: the blue tambayan, the quitting station, genesoc juice, everything. I’d prefer the latter. I guess when you spent so much time with a certain someone, or a whole organization for this matter, every memory <good or bad> becomes etched inside you. That’s the problem with me: I’m a sucker for emotional attachments. Pfft.

>>

Life after Genesoc is pretty much like stepping out of college. You don’t know what to do, where to go. It seems like a big part of you is taken away and you can’t do anything about it, but go with the freaking flow. I guess that’s another reason why I stuck up with the genes for the longest time, even though my name’s already in the alumni list. It’s difficult to detach yourself from something that’s been part of you for so long. And maybe, along the way, it became my curse. I still felt like I was still responsible, so I "stayed". I always asked myself if I was hanging around too much, and I’ve always answered myself that no, it’s okay, and that I’m not being overboard. I guess I had this resolution that as long as I can do something for the org that’s been my family for the longest time, I will do it. I’ve had too many memories with Genesoc when I was still a "kid", that I told myself that I want to pass them on to those who are still new to the family. Maybe, through me, I can make them feel what it’s like to be with the org I’ve grown to love over the years. I sincerely hope I was successful, at the very least.

>>

Life after Genesoc is so nostalgic, I can nose bleed right now. It’s like a blast from the past, clash of what-used-to-be’s and those in the "now". A brief stay at the tambayan can bring so much memories, that even the satellites remind me of one hellish body meeting. The "applicants" I used to shout at, whose ticklers suffered way too many burnt pages with my lighter, whose taste buds had horrible encounters with raw egg, whose assignments had the mandatory fish souvenir, whose first impression on me always seem to be "mataray" - all of them are different now. No more shyness, they can now get away expressing their own opinions, and not relying on their more vocal batchmates. No more trace of adjustments, they’ve adjusted perfectly well with the org life - and loving it. No more inhibitions and silent moments in one corner of the tambayan. They now make decisions for the org, mature enough to discuss issues, and I hope, sensitive enough of other people’s opinions and feelings. Because after all, no matter who we are, even if we were past presidents/officers, or "simpleng members lang", we all have that Genesoc spirit: limitless…possible…

>>

Life after Genesoc is bittersweet. Looking at where I am now, and looking back where I came from, and with whom I shared the past years, one word always come to mind: GENES. I know that I have my whole life ahead of me - working late on weeknights, deprived alcohol consumption, tax deductions, 13th month pay, maybe career changes. A whole life that is fast-paced, competitive, dynamic, exhausting, stressful. Real life, as what people would call it. But for me, no matter how "real" life gets, no matter how shitty it might turn out to be, I know that there’s a blue tambayan waiting for me in BioSci where I can hang out and forget reality for a little while. And who knows, I might call up a gene or two, and drink our worries away with that punked grape-flavored genesoc juice. ^^*

JT

27
Mar

confessions of a one-time songwriter

i just saw the movie "Music & Lyrics", and i really liked it. while i’m not really the type who’d go gaga over pianos and music sheets <i had a traumatic experience with a piano teacher when i was a kid>, the movie brought back a little pinch of nostalgia… from way, way back. i think it was circa ‘99 <yeah, THAT long ago> when i once wrote the lyrics of a song. it was just a poem, actually.. but a friend probably got too bored in school that he decided to write music <i.e. guitar chords and all that>.. i can still remember gemarie singing the song to me <entitled "Until You Do", for some very cheesy reason, pfft>. it all fits perfectly: i wrote the lyrics, mark played the guitar and gemarie belted it out.. nice. <and if i remember correctly, that sheet of paper is still tucked in some book, along with all my other writings.. remind me to look for it>..

hmm, i know. i’m not the songwriter type. as the title goes, it’s a one-time thing. in fact, i’ve totally forgotten all about it until last night. i even forgot why i wrote it in the first place. haha! they say that everything’s sweeter the second time around. well, we’ll see. who knows, maybe i’ll write another one in the coming days/months/years.. nyahaha! =p

’till next song,

JT

21
Mar

spell QUIT: the first step

I’M QUITTING SMOKING.

well, that’s the plan.

okay, i know what you’re thinking:

"jazzy? quit? she loves her menthols as much as she digs mt.dew.. quit? no freaking way!"

as some friends would say: "mukha mo!!"

doubtful ones will quip: "talaga lang ha.."

non-smokers: "tama yan!"

yeah well, let’s not rush things ok? i’m cutting down my cig intake.. for a couple of reasons..

(1) i feel like i’ve had my share of nicotine. i don’t feel the "need" to smoke, you get my drift?

(2) i’ve always wanted to quit, and it’s freakin’ hard! that’s why i don’t encourage my non-smoking friends to smoke.. really.

(3) since i’m not in writing mode these days <and i smoke like hell when i write>, i can’t find any reason why i should burn those cancer sticks.

(4) for some reason, i just feel like it. pfft. can’t explain. can’t elaborate. just felt it.

okay, so you’re still not convinced. actually, so am i.. hahaha! i can’t believe i’m actually doing this. nowadays, i range from 2-3 sticks a day <the usual after meals and stress episodes>, sometimes none at all.. for someone who’s been puffing like a little dragon since Ladies’ Dorm days, it’s kinda unbelievable. yeah well. all we need is a little faith, hahahaha!

so friends, wish me luck on this. yikes! <and don’t give me a time limit>.. like everything else, i want to take it slow.. ^^*

16
Mar

just a thought

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.

<frederick douglass>

08
Mar

thinking green

i had a crash course in finance and accounting yesterday. see, i met obie wan <my now-big time friend who claims that he just had way too much alcohol back in college>, and over grilled squid and liempo at The Fort, he gave me bits and pieces about how i should handle my finances, now that i’m already working. hmm. this should be interesting. almost 5 months into the career-life, there’s only one thing i complain about: my savings add up to a close zilch. pfft. wtf?! i know, i don’t spend that much in booze <anymore>, and i don’t even have time to spulrge in shopping, but still, i always seem to find time to spend. well, you can include caffeine indulgence and occasional movies and well, you get the drift. waaaah! !#^$&(@$*%!!!

>>

so before i go really broke, i waved the little white flag. *help* it’s a good thing my friend had some really interesting/inspiring stuff to convince me that a) it’s not too late to change my whole finance drama; b) i should actually start NOW; c) in the big scheme of things, it all boils down to what you prioritize. <and now, i sound like i’m preaching - well, at least i try to preach to myself>.  i guess i have a lot of learning to do when it comes to money matters. can you blame me? i spent six freaking years in college. and that means six years of depending on other people for my financial needs. that means six years of splurging without even thinking. pfft.

for the record, i’m such a lousy saver. sure, i’d save up when i really want something nice for example, but that’s it. if i get what i want, i go back to homebase, practically with nothing. what i really want is to save up for even bigger things, not just the latest mobile phone or the newest edition of Need For Speed. huwaaah! *bangs head*

>>

fortunately, after the crash course yesterday, i’m now beginning to see the light <and not the light that gay people see when they want to go straight>. i actually learned something. whatever it is, i won’t go into details, lest i just eat my words eventually. what i will do is put them into action. now that’s reality check. *gulps* now, i had the consolation that everybody goes through this phase at some point in their career. and i should be thankful that i’m going through this so early in mine. yeah well, when you’re already working, it’s tough to save. you always tell yourself that you deserve to "relax" <i.e. over-spend> after all, it’s your money. but then again, there’s this nagging feeling and then you ask yourself, where did all my money go?!

oh well, fuck overspending. fuck all this drama. i have some finance management to do.

and in the words of my friend, "you don’t try. you do."

thanks kenobi! ^^*

P.S. if you have some ideas, or if you’re planning to rob a bank, you know where to find me. hwehe.