a catch of fishy files

for those of you who are subjects to horrible torture, this post might come in handy when you’re stuck in TWAPIK.. and for those of you who, by any chance, happen to know anyone from the construction team of SLEX/Alabang bridge, please, beg them to have pity..

1. First of all, it’s advisable that you embark on this one-hell-of-a-nightmare trip with someone you know (i.e., your friend, or someone whose presence is enough to help you maintain your sanity). In my case, I was with Imong.

2. If you’re going to Elbi to attend a birthday party (specifically, an Undin’s birthday bash), prepare to arrive a little late. But then again, this is just an understatement.

3. Take the skyway entry at Arnaiz Ave., (if you’re coming from Makati)… that way, it’ll save time. Right? Fucking wrong!!

4. Check your watch, it’s 9:41p.m. You calculate your travel time, and you set a goal. "We’ll be there by 11p.m."

5. The traffic slows down after 5 minutes of hitting 90kph. Hmm.

6. Try to kid yourself that it’s not big a deal. It’s just a minor traffic due to a stupid bottleneck. Try to buy time by catching up with your friend.. You’re allowed to talk about ANYTHING. =)

7. It’s 10:30p.m. and you’re nowhere near the skyway exit. Congratulations! You’re officially stuck in traffic!!

8. Fumble through your CDs. Put on something blood-pumping.. I recommend Bowling for Soup’s "Bitch Song", "Get Happy" and the most ironic of all: Click Five’s "Good Day".. Har har!

9. Don’t forget to light up a cig. The smoke tends to soothe your frustrated nerves.

10. Since you’ve already talked about practically everything with your friend, divert your attention to the other vehicles within your car’s radius. If you get to inch faster than anybody, GLOAT! Hahaha! It’s not your fault that you’re a better driver than them. Hwehe!

11. If you’re still not moving, make up stories about the other cars’ passengers/drivers. This will cheer you up for a little while.

12. Finally, you’re way past skyway.. Here comes the second hurdle: traffic along Bicutan/Sucat/Alabang.. Brace yourselves.

13. You’re officially bored. Change the music. Switch to 98.7, and get soothed by the classical music as you and your friend reminisce about cartoons long-forgotten. Your friend is equally bored. Give him your map (which is torn in the folded edges), a magic tape and ask him to tape it on both sides. You, being the driver, should amuse yourself by giving your right foot a little rest (assuming you drive an automatic). Try controlling the gas/break pedal using your left foot. In fairness, it’s not that bad! =)

14. As you crawl your way through traffic, justify your insane actions by acknowledging that you’re just bored and that you’re not totally crazy.

15. At almost midnight, you’re finally on your way through SLEX. Woohoo! Shoutouts to you and your friend, you’re still alive.

16. As you pick up speed, pretend that you’re a pilot of some sort. "Fasten your seatbelts people, we’re hitting 60… and now 70.. okay, almost there.. we’re 90kph people!! We’re going for a hundred!! Bring it on!!"

17. Oh, and don’t forget to laugh your head off. Despite the hellish traffic, try to look at the fun side of things. =)

18. It’s half past 12, and you took the shortcut route to Calamba (the one that passes through the Municipal Hall). As you drive, you notice that the car in front of you has a weird-sounding horn.. It’s sound like "woot! woot!".. Now, due to the excitement of finally making it to LB before sunrise, you and your friend imitate sound. Do this with arms waving from left to right and back again.. everybody now: "Woot! Woot!"

19. You’re finally in LB, at 15minutes to go before 1a.m. For the last hurdle, you have to squeeze your car in the only parking spot nearest to the bar. Whoever invented parallel parking is probably out of his wits. Grr.

20. Ten minutes and undamaged cars later, you’re ready to go. Turn of the ignition. Put on your heels, freshen up. Get out of the car. Congratulate your autobot for a job well done. Keep a mental note to self to feed him gas the next day. Go to the bar, arm in arm with your friend (who stuck with you through it all) and hit the party scene. ^^*

>

>>

It doesn’t matter how long you’re stuck in traffic. What matters is that you made it and you’re still sane enough for friends, chikas, party and booze.

Cheers!! ^^*

JT

  is it just me, or everybody’s getting hooked in this multiply brouhaha?! for the past months, i’ve been having invites flood my yahoo mail like some sort of spam mail or something. i didn’t accept them because <1> i don’t give a flying shit; <2> i already have my friendster account; <3> i just don’t have the time to update my multiply site. for crying out loud, i’ve had this pathetic little picture of my brithday cake as my primary photo here in friendster [why would i even bother with my multiply?!]

>

oh well. my recent rendezvouz with the genes [who were all talking greek about this multiply shit] made me realize one thing: goddamnit, i’m officially out of the loop. and yeah, i had these very comforting comments from mike and yenertz about the number of friends i have in my multiply. so i’m a multiply-anti-social. sue me. bwahaha!!

>

for the record, i’ve been receiving pathetic emails from multiply saying "what you’ve missed", and it’s not surprising since i have only logged in thrice: first, when i created the account; second, when i checked it again months later [and to my surprise, one little nitwit bothered to view my profile - who, by the way, i blocked FOR GOOD]; and third, a couple of hours ago [as i am in dire need of some pics to replace my birthday cake and i had to grab some from imong's cerulean madness site]..

>

all this multiply craze/drama/insanity is getting on my nerves. and i ask myself: is it worth it?! hmm, probably.. but then again, what’s the point of keeping my friendster, blogging here.. then keeping my blogspot [for um, saner posts].. and now, this multiply thing comes along. WTF?! i’d like to think i’ve had enough of this whole get-yourself-a-place-in-the-cyberspace-map thing. waaaah! enough already!

>

i guess the bottom line is this: i just don’t have the time. i don’t have the luxury to update and post and invite and add and reply and update again.. the whole drama. i’m contented with my occasional posts here in this god-forsaken blog.. so i’m not the bummer i used to be. har har! hmm, it’s funny that i’m writing this, when a couple of hours ago, i’ve accepted friend invites [and sent some] in multiply.. hmm. labo!! haha! seriously, i can’t say i’m getting hooked. as of this writing, i don’t plan to. it’s way too much work [at least for me]. but then again, me being me, you’ll never know. ^^*

JT