how do you know that you’re in love?
JT
Archive Page 2
15
May
the vote is sinking..
all i wanted was to exercise my right vote.. i never thought i’d be one of those people who’d spend long, grueling hours inside the voting precincts, putting indelible ink on people’s forefingers, tallying the vote on the tally board, and preparing all those shitty election returns (or whatever they call it). what the fuck!!! it was an experience i’d rather NOT remember, but my tired limbs can’t seem to forget the fact that they’ve suffered way longer than necessary. pfft.
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after the shitty, hellish, bullshit (whatever you may want to describe it) experience i had, i have a couple of things to say. now, what i’m about to say is based solely on what i’ve been through yesterday, so don’t you go criticizing me because YOU WEREN’T THERE:
(1) i now appreciate the teachers who actually BOTHER to sacrifice themselves just so this stupid thing called "elections" can push through. you have no idea how much they go through, but then again, it’s not like they have much choice. kudos to you all.
(2) there really are people who couldn’t care less about what’s happening and what’s gonna happen to our country.. meaning: there are people who don’t even relish the fact that they actually have a say on the future of those candidates. but then again, given the fact that fair play is not always (if not NEVER) exercised during elections, you can’t really blame them if they opt not to vote for ANY senatoriable. hmm.
(3) people who go through hell during elections (i.e. those people who count the votes, make sure everything is "according to protocol", so to speak) are actually sacrificing much of their time and effort for a meager amount. i mean, yeah sure, they get paid and all, but to sum it all up, it’s not really enough.. all that work, long hours and the mere effort to keep sane through the whole process, a mere 3 thousand bucks isn’t really worth it.
(4) i can’t blame people who didn’t show up to vote. with all the shit that comes with philippine politics, i won’t be surprise if the elections will just be treated as another excuse for a long weekend.
(5) lastly, while i’m still tired and sleep-deprived, i just have to say this (this may not be read by those people who all ran for national and local posts, but who knows, maybe they’re in my extended network): you have no idea what people go through just so they can "exercise their right to vote". i’m not saying that you should all be saints and keep your promises (good for you if you can, but i doubt it), all i’m saying is, PLEASE at least have the decency to exert some effort to make it worth their stained fingers. you have no idea how many manicured fingers are ruined by that indelible ink, mine included. pfft.
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at this point, i don’t care who wins the elections, or it Ate Vi make it as our governor. i just want LESS tax deductions, you get my drift?
02
May
that damn door
i’ve always been an impatient person, and all my friends can attest to that, but i guess sometimes, no matter how impatient you are, you just have to sit still and wait. and that i learned the hard way just the other day..
it was labor day, no work, no traffic, no hassle. i woke up late feeling a little disoriented <it feels weird to wake up late these days hmmm>.. my roomie went out for a swim, and our landlady went somewhere. i went down for a cig, to wake up all my sleeping nerves. it was a pretty boring day. i had no idea what will happen next will scare the boredom out of me..
i was sitting just outside the screen door, my mind blank. i was supposed to go home to do some errand and i was praying that there would be no traffic, that i’d be home real quick and BLAG! the door behind me just slammed shut. i was shocked for a moment, and then i realized, IT WAS FREAKIN’ LOCKED FROM THE INSIDE!! WHAT THE?! all thoughts came flooding inside my head. shit, i don’t have my keys. shit, i don’t have my mobile. shit, i don’t have my contacts on, i’m practically blind. shit, i’m still in my pajamas. and shit, i don’t even have a bra! PAKSHET! i tried to calm myself. i needed to think. but i can only think of one thing: i have to wait until our landlady comes home. she brought the car with her, so that means she wasn’t at the church. shit, she must’ve gone somewhere with the senior citizens! waaaah!! my roommate doesn’t have the keys, she left it with me. just perfect!
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i walked out of the garage and then i saw the silver honda of my other housemate, whose room was right next to ours. you can’t imagine the feeling.. that spark of hope. i rang the doorbell, banged on the door, nothing. she must be asleep. then after an eternity, i heard her footsteps upstairs, then some water running. <it’s funny how your ears are working better when you’re in a situation like this> okay, at least she’s awake. bad news is, she’s taking a bath. and she takes FOREVER to take a bath. oh well, guess i can’t do anything but wait. <ugh, i used to hate that word!!>
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so while waiting for my sweet housemate to finish her eternal bath, with all the patience i could muster, i tried to sit still. you have no idea about the things going inside my head. for a moment, i thought i was going crazy. hahaha! it’s funny how i tried to see what happened to me. it’s something really crazy and unfortunate, but it was one hell of an experience. very humbling too. whew! 
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finally, the door was opened. and i was just thankful that my housemate was there, or else, i would’ve rotted outside the house and nobody will know. i checked the clock and it was past 11.. it was past 9 when i went down. hmm, i lost track of time. they say time flies when you’re having fun.. that day, time flew by while i was sitting outside that damn door. hwehe! and you know what, waiting wasn’t so bad after all. ^^*
JT
11
Apr
achooo!
i’ve been suffering from a stupid cold for four days now.. and i dunno what the hell happened. all i can remember is that i’ve been sniffing all over the place during easter mass. waaah! =( i feel like rudolph on a hot summer’s day. my nose is getting redder by the minute and i feel like it’s going to burst anytime.. and i miss my taste buds too.. they seemed to have abandoned me. i can’t taste anything. i have this half-eaten sweet doughnut in my desk in attempts of forcing my taste buds to recognize their favorite, but they’ve been oblivious to sugar <or any other ingredient, for that matter>.. SO HELP ME GOD..
sniffles,
JT
29
Mar
on life after GeneSoc
I wrote this for the org’s newsletter, so sorry for those who might think of this as a spoiler hwehe. To all the GENES, this one’s for you. >>
Disclaimer: You might find this a bit dramatic. But please bear in mind that I was "forced" to write this. So deal with it. =p
I spent six years in college, four in Genesoc. Considering the amount of time I spent with the org after I graduated, you can make it five. My rather extended stay with the org can be justified by the fact that I was unemployed then, so I basically had nothing to do. Or maybe, it can be that I’ve grown so used being with the genes that I can’t simply get them out of my system: the blue tambayan, the quitting station, genesoc juice, everything. I’d prefer the latter. I guess when you spent so much time with a certain someone, or a whole organization for this matter, every memory <good or bad> becomes etched inside you. That’s the problem with me: I’m a sucker for emotional attachments. Pfft.
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Life after Genesoc is pretty much like stepping out of college. You don’t know what to do, where to go. It seems like a big part of you is taken away and you can’t do anything about it, but go with the freaking flow. I guess that’s another reason why I stuck up with the genes for the longest time, even though my name’s already in the alumni list. It’s difficult to detach yourself from something that’s been part of you for so long. And maybe, along the way, it became my curse. I still felt like I was still responsible, so I "stayed". I always asked myself if I was hanging around too much, and I’ve always answered myself that no, it’s okay, and that I’m not being overboard. I guess I had this resolution that as long as I can do something for the org that’s been my family for the longest time, I will do it. I’ve had too many memories with Genesoc when I was still a "kid", that I told myself that I want to pass them on to those who are still new to the family. Maybe, through me, I can make them feel what it’s like to be with the org I’ve grown to love over the years. I sincerely hope I was successful, at the very least.
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Life after Genesoc is so nostalgic, I can nose bleed right now. It’s like a blast from the past, clash of what-used-to-be’s and those in the "now". A brief stay at the tambayan can bring so much memories, that even the satellites remind me of one hellish body meeting. The "applicants" I used to shout at, whose ticklers suffered way too many burnt pages with my lighter, whose taste buds had horrible encounters with raw egg, whose assignments had the mandatory fish souvenir, whose first impression on me always seem to be "mataray" - all of them are different now. No more shyness, they can now get away expressing their own opinions, and not relying on their more vocal batchmates. No more trace of adjustments, they’ve adjusted perfectly well with the org life - and loving it. No more inhibitions and silent moments in one corner of the tambayan. They now make decisions for the org, mature enough to discuss issues, and I hope, sensitive enough of other people’s opinions and feelings. Because after all, no matter who we are, even if we were past presidents/officers, or "simpleng members lang", we all have that Genesoc spirit: limitless…possible…
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Life after Genesoc is bittersweet. Looking at where I am now, and looking back where I came from, and with whom I shared the past years, one word always come to mind: GENES. I know that I have my whole life ahead of me - working late on weeknights, deprived alcohol consumption, tax deductions, 13th month pay, maybe career changes. A whole life that is fast-paced, competitive, dynamic, exhausting, stressful. Real life, as what people would call it. But for me, no matter how "real" life gets, no matter how shitty it might turn out to be, I know that there’s a blue tambayan waiting for me in BioSci where I can hang out and forget reality for a little while. And who knows, I might call up a gene or two, and drink our worries away with that punked grape-flavored genesoc juice. ^^*
JT
i just saw the movie "Music & Lyrics", and i really liked it. while i’m not really the type who’d go gaga over pianos and music sheets <i had a traumatic experience with a piano teacher when i was a kid>, the movie brought back a little pinch of nostalgia… from way, way back. i think it was circa ‘99 <yeah, THAT long ago> when i once wrote the lyrics of a song. it was just a poem, actually.. but a friend probably got too bored in school that he decided to write music <i.e. guitar chords and all that>.. i can still remember gemarie singing the song to me <entitled "Until You Do", for some very cheesy reason, pfft>. it all fits perfectly: i wrote the lyrics, mark played the guitar and gemarie belted it out.. nice. <and if i remember correctly, that sheet of paper is still tucked in some book, along with all my other writings.. remind me to look for it>..
hmm, i know. i’m not the songwriter type. as the title goes, it’s a one-time thing. in fact, i’ve totally forgotten all about it until last night. i even forgot why i wrote it in the first place. haha! they say that everything’s sweeter the second time around. well, we’ll see. who knows, maybe i’ll write another one in the coming days/months/years.. nyahaha! =p
’till next song,
JT
I’M QUITTING SMOKING.
well, that’s the plan.
okay, i know what you’re thinking:
"jazzy? quit? she loves her menthols as much as she digs mt.dew.. quit? no freaking way!"
as some friends would say: "mukha mo!!"
doubtful ones will quip: "talaga lang ha.."
non-smokers: "tama yan!"
yeah well, let’s not rush things ok? i’m cutting down my cig intake.. for a couple of reasons..
(1) i feel like i’ve had my share of nicotine. i don’t feel the "need" to smoke, you get my drift?
(2) i’ve always wanted to quit, and it’s freakin’ hard! that’s why i don’t encourage my non-smoking friends to smoke.. really.
(3) since i’m not in writing mode these days <and i smoke like hell when i write>, i can’t find any reason why i should burn those cancer sticks.
(4) for some reason, i just feel like it. pfft. can’t explain. can’t elaborate. just felt it.
okay, so you’re still not convinced. actually, so am i.. hahaha! i can’t believe i’m actually doing this. nowadays, i range from 2-3 sticks a day <the usual after meals and stress episodes>, sometimes none at all.. for someone who’s been puffing like a little dragon since Ladies’ Dorm days, it’s kinda unbelievable. yeah well. all we need is a little faith, hahahaha!
so friends, wish me luck on this. yikes! <and don’t give me a time limit>.. like everything else, i want to take it slow.. ^^*
16
Mar
just a thought
I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.
<frederick douglass>
08
Mar
thinking green
i had a crash course in finance and accounting yesterday. see, i met obie wan <my now-big time friend who claims that he just had way too much alcohol back in college>, and over grilled squid and liempo at The Fort, he gave me bits and pieces about how i should handle my finances, now that i’m already working. hmm. this should be interesting. almost 5 months into the career-life, there’s only one thing i complain about: my savings add up to a close zilch. pfft. wtf?! i know, i don’t spend that much in booze <anymore>, and i don’t even have time to spulrge in shopping, but still, i always seem to find time to spend. well, you can include caffeine indulgence and occasional movies and well, you get the drift. waaaah! !#^$&(@$*%!!!
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so before i go really broke, i waved the little white flag. *help* it’s a good thing my friend had some really interesting/inspiring stuff to convince me that a) it’s not too late to change my whole finance drama; b) i should actually start NOW; c) in the big scheme of things, it all boils down to what you prioritize. <and now, i sound like i’m preaching - well, at least i try to preach to myself>. i guess i have a lot of learning to do when it comes to money matters. can you blame me? i spent six freaking years in college. and that means six years of depending on other people for my financial needs. that means six years of splurging without even thinking. pfft.
for the record, i’m such a lousy saver. sure, i’d save up when i really want something nice for example, but that’s it. if i get what i want, i go back to homebase, practically with nothing. what i really want is to save up for even bigger things, not just the latest mobile phone or the newest edition of Need For Speed. huwaaah! *bangs head*
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fortunately, after the crash course yesterday, i’m now beginning to see the light <and not the light that gay people see when they want to go straight>. i actually learned something. whatever it is, i won’t go into details, lest i just eat my words eventually. what i will do is put them into action. now that’s reality check. *gulps* now, i had the consolation that everybody goes through this phase at some point in their career. and i should be thankful that i’m going through this so early in mine. yeah well, when you’re already working, it’s tough to save. you always tell yourself that you deserve to "relax" <i.e. over-spend> after all, it’s your money. but then again, there’s this nagging feeling and then you ask yourself, where did all my money go?!
oh well, fuck overspending. fuck all this drama. i have some finance management to do.
and in the words of my friend, "you don’t try. you do."
thanks kenobi! ^^*
P.S. if you have some ideas, or if you’re planning to rob a bank, you know where to find me. hwehe.
i frequent the starbucks near our office that i’m now on speaking terms even with the security guard. ha ha. no, really. one, the place is just a short walk from the office, and when you’re stressed out and in dire need of some pick-me-up, nothing beats the fact that there’s a starbucks nearby. two, starbucks coffee tastes way better than the instant coffee from the pantry. pfft. so my caffeine needs are high maintainance, sue me. i’m friends with baristas. i don’t know if they’ve got an incredible memory, or it’s the fact that i’ve been patronizing peppermint mocha frap for the longest time that they already know me. these days, i don’t even have to recite my order, they go straight to the cash register, punch in keys and prepare my drink. they’re really nice, those baristas. rochelle is the girl who would always greet me with a smile, and even compliment my newly painted nails. alma will chat with me while she’s sweeping the floor. dax, the perpetually makulit one, will pester me into attending some coffee seminar, and then will introduce me to his new co-worker, giving her instructions on how i like my tea <with lots and lots of sprinkles>. bj is my smoke-buddy. harhar. he would join me during his 15-minute break, have a smoke, a little chat, and yes, he offers free lighter-refills. woo. so i’m hanging out with them, sue me. one of the best things about being friends with baristas is that you get to know them in a cool, "chummy" way <sorry, it’s still in my vocab>.. and yeah, they already know what you want, so even if you’re standing in line, when it’s your turn, you’ll have that drink already prepared. how cool is that? and when you’re drying to read a couple of articles in the newspaper, you don’t just read it, you get to take it home. he he. but you know what’s the best, best, best thing about being friends with them? they call me MARIE. ^^* 
for the longest time, i’ve been drowning myself in peppermint mocha frap. when it was no longer available <funny how it fell on a valentine’s day>, i contented myself with mocha fraps with lots of mint. then i realized that it’s not the same thing, and minty mocha fraps make me sad for some reason. to lighten up my mood <and give myself a coffee break, harhar>, i decided to go for tea.. in barista-speak, a grande raspberry frappuccino blended tea, no whipped. so i’m now into tea, sue me.
